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‘This is just WRONG’ Category

  1. The Bug-On-Your-Face Look – Moda Cu Insecta pe Fata

    0

    July 21, 2013 by raluca

    bug jewelleryAsos Nose or Ear Jewel Cuff Ring – 5£ here;
    Inel de pus in nas sau in ureche de la Asos – 5£ aici.

    Orice asemanare cu scena din parodia filmului Dracula, cand Renfield mananca o insecta al carei piciorus ii iese din gura este pur intamplatoare:

    EN: Any similarity to the scene in the parody “Dracula: Dead and Loving It”, where Renfield is eating an insect that’s wriggling to get out of his mouth is purely coincidental:

    renfield eating an insect“Dracula – Dead and Loving It” – Funniest Scenes – min. 8:50

    Cuvintele sunt de prisos, ati putea crede. Eu am totusi cateva:
    EN: You may be speechless, but I’m not:

    Sa va spun o poveste: acum doi ani am fost cu sotul meu in Capri si am stat la hotelul (de fapt Bed & Breakfast) cu cea mai frumoasa priveliste de care am avut parte pana acum – Monte Solaro (ca sa nu mai spun ca gazdele noastre – Costanzo si familia lui – au fost absolut extraordinare):

    EN: Let me tell you a (short) story: two years ago my husband and I went to Capri and we stayed at the hotel/ B&B with the most gorgeous view we’ve experienced so far – Monte Solaro (not to mention that our hosts – Costanzo and his family – were absolutely amazing):

    Capri 6Cam asta vedeam de pe terasa pensiunii (cu insula Ischia in departare). (Daca aveti chef, restul pozelor sunt aici).

    EN: This is an example of what we saw from the terrace (with Ischia island in the distance). (The rest of the photos from Capri are here if you wanna see them).

    Ca sa ajungem insa pana aici trebuia sa urcam, pe trepte, o panta destul de abrupta, iar urcusul, fiind un pic obositor, necesita cateva pauze. Intr-o seara, intr-una din aceste pauze de recuperare, am tras din pacate in piept nu doar aer ci si un biet fluture din cei multi care se zburataceau pe langa lampile de la marginea drumului.

    EN: In order to get to Monte Solaro, however, you needed to go up a rather steep climb which required a few short stops to catch your breath. One night, unfortunately, it was not only my breath that I caught: I tragically swallowed a butterfly along with the air.

    Mai jos puteti vedea o reconstituire a taraseniei:
    EN: This is a re-enactment of the unfortunate event:

    foto

    Desi aceasta intamplare m-a ajutat sa “internalizez”, ca sa zic asa, expresia “fluturi in stomac”, nu pot sa spun ca la vremea respectiva mi-am dat seama ca ceea ce mi s-a intamplat a fost si un act de “fashion”, ba chiar m-am simtit prost, atat pentru mine, cat si pentru fluture si familia sa.

    EN: Even though what happened that night helped me better understand the meaning of the expression “butterflies in my stomach”, I can’t say I realized at the time that I was in fact performing an act of fashion. To be honest, poor old unfashionable me even felt embarrassed (not to mention guilty for the butterfly’s undignified demise).

    Ei bine, inteleg acum ca m-am inselat: nu numai ca nu ar fi trebuit sa ma simt prost, ci chiar mandra ca sunt moderna avant-la-lettre – de fapt E trendy (flendy) sa porti insecte in orificiile buco-nazale!

    EN: Well, Asos has finally helped me understand that, far from feeling embarrassed of my little “accident”, I should in fact be proud of being fashionable avant-la-lettre: apparently it IS trendy to wear insects in ALL your facial orifices. Go figure!


  2. The Pointed Toe Shoes Gone Wrong. Again.

    1

    April 25, 2013 by raluca

    Pantofii cu varf ascutit o iau pe o cale gresita. Din nou.

     

    pointy toe shoes gone wrongZara (much too) Pointed Slippers and Shoes – 50€ and 60€ here and here;
    Pantofi Zara cu varful (mult prea) ascutit – 279 si 329 ron aici si aici.

    Tradare, tradare, tradare, de 3 ori tradare!

    Dupa ce, prin expunere in ultimul an si ceva la noul (si de fapt clasicul) tip de varf ascutit, am ajuns nu numai sa trec peste trauma provocata de varfurile extra-alungite de la inceputul anilor 2000, ci chiar sa-mi placa foarte mult, se intampla ASTA. DIN NOU.

    O lovitura marsava din partea celor de la Zara – chiar cei care m-au convins de fapt sa-mi cumpar prima pereche de pantofi cu varf ascutit din ultimii 10 ani! (Astia sunt).

    Banuiesc (sper!) ca se adreseaza unui public care se incalta in botosei in vremurile de trista amintire de care ziceam, pentru ca nu cred ca cineva care a experimentat acele varfuri ascutite isi poate dori sa le poarte/ vada din nou. Ei probabil o sa le considere “OMG-ce-cool”, dar noi, ceilalti, nu ne lasam asa usor dusi cu presul: (pres > covor zburator > Aladdin > salvari si papuci ascutiti… intelegeti unde bat, sunt spirituala astazi): pantofii astia nu sunt cool, nu sunt trendy-flendy, sunt URATI CA NAIBA!

    Sunt sigura ca exista destule modele de pantofi-copita/ cu par, cu barba, poate chiar cu burta care abia asteapta sa fie inventate, dar eu zic ca pantofii cu varf ascutit au trecut deja prin destule incercari si merita si ei macar 20 de ani de liniste si pace.

    EN: Well, well, look what the cat dragged in on the Zara website!

    Just as I had not only begun to accept the new (and in fact classic) pointed toe, but also to love it, having for the last year or so managed to get over the trauma inflicted on me by the exaggeratedly elongated shoes of the beginning of the 2000s – THIS is what happens. AGAIN.

    A low blow, that’s what I call it – especially coming from the very brand that convinced me to buy my first pair of pointy shoes after God knows how many years! (These are the shoes in question).

    I suspect they’re targeting people who were too young to wear proper shoes back in those dark (shoe) times, because I doubt somebody who has been consciously exposed to that kind of pointed toe is eager to see it, let alone wear it ever again. The young’uns (well, some of them) will no doubt consider them OMG-so-cool, but we, the older and wiser ones, aren’t so easily fooled (again): they’re not cool, people of Zara! They’re really, really, really UGLY!!!

    I’m sure there are plenty of hoof shoes or shoes with hair, beards or even a beer belly that are just dying to be invented, but I think pointed toe shoes have had their share of cruel and unusual punishment and deserve at least 20 years of peace and quiet.


  3. Versace 23,000€ Dress

    1

    February 27, 2013 by raluca

    designer dresses, rochii designerSee it (buy it???) here.

    O rochie de (aproape) 23000 de euro… Care nu e de aur (ci din matase, metal si piele – si nu de inger sau unicorn, ci de vitel) si nici nu se livreaza impreuna cu Johnny Depp. (Rochia e aici).

    Desi sunt obsedata cu cumparaturile si n-as ezita prea mult sa dau o mie, doua, trei de euro pe o rochie daca i-as avea, parca 23000 de euro mi se pare cam obscen…

    Imi si inchipui cum s-a ajuns la pretul asta – madam Donatella Versace se trezeste intr-o buna dupa-amiaza si-si spune in timp ce aplica al 20-lea strat de fard ca sa fie pregatita pentru prima sedinta de solar a zilei: “Ia, pai rochia asta a costat 200 de euro s-o fac, ce-ar fi s-o vand cu… hmmm… cat sa zicem… hai 23000 de euro, sigur se gaseste vreun fraier cu mertzan de aur s-o cumpere. Poate chiar 2 bucati. Da, buna idee! Vin’ la mama, Pouffon [asa imi imaginez eu ca ar putea sa-l cheme pe cainele ei], sa te pup pe botic si hai la solar!” [Disclaimer: acesta este un monolog imaginar. De fapt nu stiu care este pretul de productie al rochiei, de ce s-a decis asupra acestui pret de vanzare si nici daca Donatella chiar are un caine sau care sunt obiceiurile ei de infrumusetare.]

    Voi ce ziceti: presupunand ca v-ati permite, ati cumpara o rochie atat de scumpa?

    EN: This is an (almost) 23,000 (twenty three thousand) euro dress, people! Which isn’t made out of gold (it’s silk, metal and leather – calf leather to be more exact, not unicorn) or delivered by Johnny Depp.

    I may be a shopaholic (and especially a dress-aholic) and wouldn’t hesitate to spend a few thousand euros on a dress if I could afford it, but 23,000 euro seems a tad grotesque.

    I can just see how this price came about: Ms. Donatella wakes up one fine afternoon and, while applying the 20th layer of makeup in preparation of the day’s first tanning session, she tells herself: “Well, this dress cost me 200€ to make, why don’t I sell it for… hmmm… shall we say 23,000€? I bet some sucker in a gilded car will want to buy it. Maybe even two. Yes, that’s what I’m gonna do! Come, give mamma a kiss, Pouffon [this is how I imagine her dog might be called], and let’s go get a tan!” [Disclaimer: this is an imaginary monologue. I don’t actually know what this dress cost to make, why this selling price was decided upon, what Donatella’s beauty routine is or if she has a dog named Pouffon or otherwise].

    So what do you think: would you buy such an expensive dress if you could afford it?


  4. Hellraiser Shoes

    3

    November 16, 2012 by raluca

    Mai vede cineva in afara de mine asemanarea :)?
    EN: Does anybody else see the resemblance :)?

    Nu stiu ce parere aveti despre pantofii fara toc (sau “copita”, cum le spun eu), dar mie nu imi plac absolut de loc, iar acestia in mod special mi se par… horror :).

    EN: I don’t know what you guys think about heelless shoes (or “hoof” shoes, as I like to call them), but I, for one, really don’t like them and this spiked version looks to me  like it belongs on this cute guy’s shoe racks :).


  5. The Dark Side of the Force: The Optical Illusion Dress gone Wrong

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    November 14, 2012 by raluca

    Rochiile “iluzie optica” sunt de obicei menite sa creeze senzatia unei talii subtiri si mi se par o idee excelenta.
    In cazul de fata insa designerii s-au gandit probabil ca ar fi cazul sa incerce ceva inedit si sa se adreseze celor care isi doresc un look cu burta, solduri late si o mare pata pe fund… Sa nu-mi spuneti ca sunteti atat de demodate incat nu intelegeti trendy-flendy-ul acestei abordari :D!.
    (Gasiti rochia aiciin cazul in care doriti sa faceti cuiva special un cadou deosebit de urat sau sa va pacaliti prietenul ca ati ramas insarcinate :D.)

    EN: Optical illusion dresses are generally meant to create the illusion of a slimmer waist and I think they are a brilliant idea.
    In this case however the designers seem to have thought that the slim waist look is totally overrated and that it was time for something edgier: the big belly, wide hips and huge stain on your butt look. Don’t tell me you are so old-fashioned that you don’t get the appeal of this approach :D!
    (You can buy the dress herein case you want to give that special someone in your life a really ugly present or trick your boyfriend into thinking that you’re pregnant :D.)

    Ca sa nu ramaneti cu o asemenea imagine in minte si sa visati urat la noapte, iata cum ar trebui sa arate o rochie “iluzie optica”:
    EN: To wipe that image from your retinas, here’s how an optical illusion dress should look like:

    Purple lace overlay dress, from Dorothy Perkins; it’s 35£ and you can buy it here (until November 18th everything is 25% off online, so the the dress actually costs 26,25£);
    Rochie mov cu insertie de dantela, de la Dorothy Perkins; costa 35£ (aprox. 200 ron) si o gasiti aici (pana pe 18 noiembrie toate produsele au reducere de 25%, asa ca pretul este de fapt 150 ron).

    (Stiu, o sa ziceti ca v-am mai aratat rochia (aici), dar de fapt este o reeditare a aceleia, care aproape s-a epuizat – dovada ca aleg numai lucruri frumoase :D.)

    EN (I know, you’ll say I’ve shown you this dress before (here), but this is in fact a new edition of that dress, which is now almost sold-out. So you see, I only bring you the best of the best :D.)


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